If you’re a regular reader you’ll know that my ‘What I learnt In…” segment was something I did religiously each month some time ago. In all honesty, I fell off. Yep, there you go…straight honesty.
I think this particular segment is so important. It allows me personally to reflect, check, and move…by that I mean; reflect on the past month, check and congratulate myself for my successes and keep it moving!
The month of July was monumental. I made massive adjustments, some I was extremely uncomfortable with, some I was proud of, and often July reminded me that the only person that has my back the way I need it covered, is me.
I also urge you to seek better for yourselves; Whatever it is you want to achieve, whoever it is you think you are, whatever you deserve, do yourself a favour and go and get it. Do not allow yourself to sink into the “sunken place”, wallowing in self-pity and expect anyone to give you a helping hand. I say all of this because I’ve been that person. At times I still am that person, and that’s the beauty of blogging about personal things because my writing is a constant flow of emotion, challenge and change.
So as I reflect on the month of July, what has been the “L” that I’ve levitated from? What has been the “W” that I’ve worked hard to achieve? Well continue reading below and all will be revealed!
As you’ll know if you’re following me on the ‘gram (@NotThatKindaCurl) you’ll have seen at the start of the year I made the leap and moved to London. The move itself was difficult. I would travel back and forth with my little sister by my side, squished in between boxes, whilst I loaded and unloaded my Ford Fiesta and then set off the following day to do the same thing again. I pretty much wore the same clothes for a week, hardly showered and although I was so happy to make the move, it all seemed to happen so quickly and I’d always imagined that the process would be one I could bask in for a while, and then get to it…
At the time, the idea of a promising new job, a fresh start and being closer to my loved ones seemed like the ideal opportunity to pack up and go. 7 months later and I still don’t feel like I’m a “Londoner”. At the beginning of July I kept having the same repetitive dream that I would wake up and suddenly be back in my cold studio apartment, and although it was just a dream and I’d awaken to the views of London from my window, I just wasn’t totally happy.
I realised quite quickly that it wasn’t that I was unhappy about being here, I was unhappy because of the circumstances. My mother and I have had a long history of back and forths, no communication, kiss and make up and the cycle repeats. This is something I’ve wanted to discuss and dissect, and one day I will in more detail, but for now I’ll say we’re back at square one and that has impacted the way I’ve processed the anxiety I’ve experienced not just throughout my entire life, but especially within the last 7 months.
A promising new job turned out to be a total circus and the “grit your teeth and bear it” mantra versus my promise of living totally in my truth and excelling beyond what I can even fathom, didn’t quite match. So I quit.
So my L’s have transpired into a whirlwind of change. Deciding to quit a job, focus on my blog and my writing and finding ways to monetise it because let’s be honest, what you see is a bunch of words on your phone or screen right now whilst I’ve spent a lot of time planning, writing, editing and scheduling and often that can take up to 48 hours dependent on the content. Whilst I’ve been doing that I’ve been looking into what I truly want to achieve with my career so that I can further my interests in an environment that I love and want to flourish in, but equally want to support the businesses success, and in doing that I’ve landed a role within a publishing house. One in fact, I ADORE! So I’m patting myself on the back because that’s a massive deal for me!
Anyways, I’m rambling which is typical Alexandra behaviour, so I’ll just leave it at this…
As we transition out of one month and step into another, I probe you to focus on the goals you set yourself at the start of the year, and look at the way in which your year has panned out thus far. If your year isn’t moving in the direction you wish it to, it’s time to make a change. I’m not telling you to quit your job or relocate from one part of the country to another, but make one small change and stick to it consistently and see if that changes the course of your year, your health, your happiness…the list goes on.
Equally, the world we currently live in promotes a “microwave culture”. One which makes us feel that if we aren’t screaming and shouting about our successes, then they can’t possibly be happening. Remind yourself that the small wins, the steps forward, the changed behaviours, the desire to do and be more, is a success in it’s own right…
Continue to reflect, check and move throughout the month, and I’ll be back with another monthly reflection at the end of August!