Welcome back, Lovelies!
Today I’m exploring the topic of confidence and how that intertwines with being an introvert. Now whilst I know that my general outward persona can come across quite confident in particular settings, I’m generally more introverted, so at times I find that I’m lost in my own sauce rather than being an energetic, outlandish character!
I’m quite comfortable with my inward ways; I like the peace I have within myself and if I’m completely honest it’s never really appealed to me to be the loudest in the room. There’s a massive misconception that introverts lack confidence and are quite insecure, when in actuality it can be quite the opposite. In saying this, I do also recognise that in particular environments being introverted can come across as withdrawn, so I wanted to share a few key tips and reassurances to help you to become present and confident, whilst also being an introvert!
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE THE LOUDEST IN THE ROOM, IN ORDER TO HAVE THE BEST IDEAS”
I want to start off with this reassurance, as I’ve seen this quote floating about and I totally agree!
Whilst I appreciate there’s a “time and place” for every individual scenario, I personally find that more often than not I’m much more observant and strategic with the words I use, the ideas I relay and the people I engage with than to be the contrary, and to an extent I find that some of the best ideas are those which stem from being the best kept secrets. “It’s better to speak with purpose” springs to mind, as my Grandmother says!
I get it, in some scenarios you have to engage! That’s still possible, but ensure that the way in which you deliver your message in whatever form or context that might be, is done strategically and in a way which makes your words and conversation memorable.
“WHEN IN DOUBT, COUNT IT OUT”
As silly as it might sound, it really helps!
Some introverts might find that their confidence is low because of other factors. An example of this for me is my anxiety. I’ve found a direct correlation between my introverted nature and my anxiety. When I’m overwhelmed I’m a totally closed book – not great when you’re in a public setting!
I’ve noticed that in environments when I’m most reserved, I’m really out of my comfort zone. In order for me to ‘peak’ out of my shell, I count things out around me that feel familiar. Whether it be a person, a colour, a picture, a song…whatever it might be, no matter how big or small, it’s a great way to sooth my anxiety and allows me to be my most confident and comfortable self!
QUESTION TO FAMILIARISE
Introverted nature can materialise from unfamiliar territory or people, and in turn make our confidence stagnant.
A reasonable method that I’ve practised to improve my confidence is by asking questions; get to know people on a much deeper level than the usual “You alright?” or my most common question when attending an event, “What time did you arrive?” Admittedly I say this often as a means to start conversation which from experience doesn’t keep the conversation flowing much longer! Asking open questions such as “How’s your day been?” opens people up to your warmth and in return allows you to become familiar with people, creating a space for you to feel more confident about speaking and asking questions!
IN ORDER TO GROW, YOU HAVE TO CHANNEL THE UNKNOWN
The honest truth is, no matter your nature whether that be introverted or extroverted, in order for you to really grow you have to do things which seem unfamiliar, allowing you to reach a height you’ve never been to before. A personal example of this is I’ve learnt how to network, feel confident in turning up to events – alone, reaching out to people as a means to introduce myself and my blog, and most importantly be present; these are areas I’m still growing in and learning from as well!
As an introvert I’ve learnt there are many ways to ‘tap out’ and be totally disconnected whilst being in a room filled with conversation and interaction. In doing so, I’m withdrawn and that’s an energy that other people can sense as well – not great for a networking event either!
My biggest piece of advice when stepping into the unknown is to do one thing which will make an impact. That could be something as simple as eye contact, a smile, a purposeful question, or even body language! All of these things will make you seem more confident than you potentially feel and gradually will make you a more confident individual, so that each time you do something unfamiliar, it becomes a natural effort!
And remember – as an introvert you are amongst some of the greatest! Some of my personal favourites being J.K Rowling, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein and Rosa Parks! All of which have made an impact and have successfully redefined the standards for what it looks like to be confident and introverted!