What I learnt in: August ’18

Another month, another lesson…or multiple lessons, learnt!

Whenever I experience particular emotions or find that I’m going through a particular pattern of behaviour, I like to note them down in my phone so that I can reflect on them at the end of each month and also ‘unpick’ why I experienced those things. This month I noted down the following: Accountability, Reflection, Passion and Stagnant. All in all, I think that they all tie into one another and it’s hard to unpick each one in depth because I’m still trying to figure them out, but I’ll give it a try anyways…

I’ve really learnt this month the importance of Accountability. I often find that when I go through things I dwell too much on the activity that is taking place right in that moment and I don’t give credit to the things that have taken place previously to bring me to that place. The importance of accountability, is that you recognise your actions and what you could have done but more importantly, what you can do better in the future…

Have you ever felt like someone owes you an explanation or apology? You dwell on everything they have done to you, over-engineer the ways in which they could have done things better…but do you stop to think about yourself? What part did you play? Did you ignore vital signs? If you are stubborn, like me, taking accountability is always going to be difficult. The beauty within accountability is that it becomes a stepping stone to better the individual that YOU are. So no matter what you feel someone else ‘owes’ you…you have better equipped yourself with the right knowledge to arm you for future reference.

You’ll find accountability is almost like giving yourself the forgiveness that you are looking for…it’s also similar to when you’re unhappy, and you dwell on all of the surrounding or ‘mitigating’ circumstances that have brought you to an unhappy place without taking accountability for the things you can do differently to make yourself happier in that very moment. In this instance, accountability is you literally taking ownership for and of you. Forget the outside noise for a second and focus on you. Don’t worry about anything other than you, and trust me you’ll find a lot of peace and happiness within yourself. Anything that makes you happy outside of that is simply a bonus…

Leading into the next important factor; reflection... I’m an extremely reflective person in general and as an example, I like to reflect on the space I’m in now and then look at where I was a year ago…I like to see what growth there has been, or even reflect on the steps I’ve taken backwards. I recommend this to people often because I think it’s a great way, as an individual, to reward yourself for your own growth or even give yourself the necessary push in the right direction, if needed. Reflection is literally like a mirror, don’t dwell in it for too long as you can become engrossed with what’s there or what’s been there and lose sight of the beauty that stands before you.

It’s weird because for some reason, August was a month that I’d been reflecting on where I was around four/five years ago…I was super excited to leave for University and start an independent life, which I think a lot of young adults who are planning to go off to University this coming September/October are currently feeling too, but currently all I’ve wanted to do is come back to the family home at every given opportunity. I guess it’s just a different energy right now that I’m searching for, and it always seems that when I come back home I’m humbled again, and reminded to slow down and just appreciate the space that I’m currently in.

Reflection is a perfect example of accountability in some ways, so I think that makes sense that August was an extremely reflective month for me in general!

I’ve felt that being stagnant has been one of those irritating lingering feelings and motions which has occurred this month. The month of August constantly reminded me to move forward and keeping pushing, but in the same breathe I felt that I was quite stagnant no matter how far forward I moved…a part of that has to do with a lack of patience, to some degree, but also knowing that we were transitioning into a new season meant that I had the added pressure of feeling like I had so much more to accomplish in such a short space of time.

The worst thing you can do in moments like this, is to completely stop.  Even though you’re already feeling stagnant, there’s nothing worse than completely giving into that feeling by actually being stagnant. To those that understand what I’m talking about,my advice is to continuously have a vision and a commitment in mind. Be your own biggest commitment and never lose focus of that…let the vision be your future achievements, that way no matter how slow or quick you are moving…you are at least, moving.

Finishing off on a serioussssly positive note, you know when you get so caught up in your passions it just makes you overwhelmed with happiness?! Yep- I’ve enjoyed some of that this month too…in fact it’s been all Summer long that I’ve been caught up in my goals and my vision, but specifically August really gave me an insight into what is to come!

This month I attended the Shades of Beauty event in London, and of course I thoroughly enjoyed visiting all the brand stalls and getting to mingle, but the most exciting part about any kind of hair event which I attend, is being able to listen and witness the panels. The Shades of Beauty panels were like none I’d seen so far. I live for educated and informed women talking about topics which effect women of colour; the discussions also included whether we as women feel as though our hair defines us, which as a Naturalist had me thinking a lot about the way in which I view myself and the way in which I use my hair as an expression of character. All in all, it made me think about the prospect of me one day being able to use my platform to be a part of a panel in a way that the many bloggers who spoke on the panels did too.

I personally feel as though it’s especially important that as a woman of colour, there is representation and inclusivity at these kinds of events. Being that I currently live in a less diverse area in the Country, I look forward to networking and mingling amongst similar women and I thoroughly enjoyed my time and took inspiration from the words shared by many.

Anyways, enough rambling from me…I feel like I’ve given you all an honest and realistic insight into the life of Ally!

I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this, and as always, please do share your lessons learnt with me, too!




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