I wanted to talk from the heart and discuss something which is a continuous (but upwards) battle for me. I want to talk candidly about turning your ‘wounds into wisdom’, ‘your pain into purpose’…whilst those two phrases may sound a little cliche it’s important to recognise the power of each meaning and hopefully you too can find a way to transform your own wounds into wisdom.
When someone once told me that rejection would redirect me towards my purpose in life I genuinely felt like they were preaching to the wrong person. I hate rejection and rather than moving on I would, and sometimes still do, find ways to go back to try and fix the issue in front of me to turn that rejection into success.
One thing I’ve learnt about that particular way of thinking, is that if you constantly are learning the same lesson, you’ll find that life makes the lesson a little harder for you each time.
~No matter what your pain is, whether relationship based or an everyday struggle within your life or career, everybody can relate to a stagnant point in their life. It’s up to you to decide whether or not you are willing to make a change.~
A while ago I was told by someone in a completely unrelated matter, but couldn’t be more fitting for this blog post, that the exact definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing and expecting a different result each time. What you’ll find though, is that each time you are doing the same thing, you’ll become more exhausted, drained and overall your inflicting pain on yourself in a situation which will give you the same outcome. Overall, each time the lesson gets harder because you’re expecting a different result and being given the same outcome and gradually you’ll find that you start to get broken down little by little.
I actually believe that in order for you to grow you have to experience the kind of circumstances which force you to change through pain. Although I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, I’ve learnt from my past experiences and although I definitely didn’t learn the first time, I learnt in the end and that was the end goal for me. It’s taught me how to become a lot wiser, stronger and independent in ways which I’m still growing in and I become fascinated when I discover a part of myself that is succeeding in ways I could never have imagined before.
For you to successfully turn your pain into purpose you need to focus on the following steps:
- What is my pain?
- What is my purpose?
- How badly do I want to achieve my purpose?
It’s very easy to become lost in your circumstances and lose sight of what you want. Make a mental note of where you’d like to see yourself in a years time and every decision you make that will have a substantial difference in your life, keep that vision in mind. I’m not talking about the small decisions such as, what to eat this evening, but more like if you are in a toxic relationship that you want to break out of, but don’t have the courage to break free from it…start making small, capable steps to remove yourself from that situation and over time you’ll find that you are now making greater steps to completely remove yourself from those circumstances. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but worth it? Absolutely. A year later when you are happier, more courageous and have an enormous volume of self-love and self-confidence, you’ll have your own testimony on how you transformed your wounds into wisdom.
I know that if you’re going through a hard situation and your reading this, you’ll find what I’ve written above unrealistic because sometimes bad situations can become so poisonous you don’t know how to get out of them nor recognise the toxicity of that situation-believe me I’ve been there.
Always keep in mind that if you decide to stay in a situation, no matter what the situation may be, that doesn’t fulfil you or help generate more happiness, you’ll never truly know how much greater your life can be. You’ll be stuck in a compromising, heart-wrenching circumstance with very little opportunity for growth and empowerment. If you decide to walk away, you are choosing to maximise the endless opportunities which you can conquer and gradually you’ll become much wiser and see that any painful situation you were once in, you have the ability to look back and say ‘Now, I know better.’
In life you have to accept that sometimes what once was, isn’t always going to be what will be. Accept that once you hit that brick wall and you find yourself doing so over and over again, you have to take a different direction to find your true purpose, to unveil the real you and to become the best version of yourself.
I’d like to end with a quote, as I always do…
‘If your life is cloudy and you’re far, far off course, you’ll have to go on faith for a while, but eventually you’ll learn that every time you trust your internal navigation system, you end up closer to your right life.’-Martha Beck.